Mar
25
on a spiritual note
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As today is Sunday, I’ve decided to write in more of a Spiritual tone. Then, in trying to figure out what I should write about, I decided upon our church experience on this island. Before I go on, I guess I should give you a little background on our family as relating to Spiritual matters. Emily and I belong to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. The church is also known as the “Mormon” church or the “L.D.S.” church. More information about the church can be found at www.mormon.org. We were very excited to experience attending church in another part of the world. We both grew up in Utah. I lived in San Jose, Ca for a couple of years during my early teens and served a mission in Los Angeles, Ca between the ages of 19 and 21. Roughly five years after Emily and I were married, we moved to the Dallas area in Texas. So, we’ve experienced a few parts of the country.
The church was a large factor in deciding where to attend medical school. We hoped to attend where an established unit of the church would be found, but also wanted to attend the right school for me. Preliminarily, I had researched all the islands on which I applied to school. St. Maarten has a branch (small congregation) of the church. Dominica (pronounced Domineeka) also has a branch established. However, on Saba, the church had no official or unofficial presence I was able to discover. Through a course of pros and cons, pondering, and prayer . . . we decided Saba had the best school for my style of learning. This would definitely offer a unique Spiritual experience.
When I arrived on Saba, I expected to have church by myself in my living room until Emily arrived. I shortly found out this was not the case. Serendipitously, the current president of the spouse’s organization tracked me down the day after I arrived on Saba. She had heard from our friends who had arrived a week before us that we were originally from Utah. It turned out she and her family were L.D.S. as well. She told me about the small group of members who meet on a weekly basis in one of their homes. I was excited about the opportunity to worship with others of the same faith. There is much strength which comes from worshiping together.
We generally have 10 to 15 people attend services each Sunday. The presiding authority for our group is the President of the Trinidad and Tobago Mission. He and his wife visited near the end of September, 2006. One of the local ladies, Coleen Hassell, (now Hulbert), who was also attending the university was baptized. The baptism was a wonderful Spiritual experience and we were all very happy for Coleen. The mission President told us there was a very special Spirit about this little group on Saba. I share his sentiments. I value the ability to look around the room and know everyone very well. In our previous wards (congregations) there have been between 150 to 400 people. This made it very difficult to get to know everyone well. As we progress through our time on Saba, we often think about things we will miss. Worshiping with this small group of Saints is among the top. Having this group has been invaluable to us while living out of the country. In a different land, with a different culture, there is one thing which remains the same. No matter where you go in all the world . . . the Spirit of the Saints remains the same. This has eased much of the trepidation of the uncertainty of where we will be living for clinical rotations. Again, no matter where we go . . . we will have an instant family in the members of the church. I love the Lord. I am grateful for the experiences He has provided my family as we have progressed throughout this life and look forward to the many rich experiences the future holds. Until next time . . .
Mar
21
the journey
Filed Under happiness, life, thoughts | Leave a Comment
Just a quick note about my little friend at the top of the page. It is a Saban Anole. There are many different kinds of Anoles in the world, but this type is unique to Saba. Monday morning last week I was enjoying the beautiful morning weather when I noticed this little critter in a bucket we use to capture condensation from our air conditioner. At a first glance, I thought it was dead. I nudged the bucket and it started moving, (I actually think it’s a female . . . so I’ll call it a she). I was amazed how she was just floating . . . trying to keep her nose above the water. I imagine she had been there for quite a while. She must have been trying to leap from one surface to another when she lost footing and did a swan dive into our little bucket. The overnight temperatures right now are dipping to a chilly 70 degrees Fahrenheit. Being a cold blooded creature she was getting pretty lethargic in that nippy water. I started to pour out the water to save my new little friend. Once she hit the ground, she just sat there . . . motionless. I reached down to see if she’d run away, like they normally do, but she actually crawled up on my hand. Then, I tried to get her to crawl onto the railing in the sun so she could warm up, but she wouldn’t move. I placed her on the railing and decided to take advantage of a perfect Kodak moment.
I was able to get many close-up pictures of her, but something seemed to be amiss. She was moving slower and slower and although she was getting warmer, she wasn’t becoming more alert. I became concerned for her and tried to find a nice spot for her to convalesce. I came back in a few minutes and she hadn’t moved. In fact, I was unable to detect any breathing which had been previously evident. My heart sank. All the knowledge I’ve been gaining in medical school couldn’t help her live. I started thinking about how long she must have spent in the bucket of water . . . trying to get out with all her might. Draining from her muscles every last molecule of energy. I imagine I’d do the same thing finding myself in a similar situation.
These thoughts made me think about situations I will encounter as a future physician. If not in my practice, I will encounter death during my clinical rotations. Death is a large part of medicine. We do everything we can to push it back as far as possible. We learn and study about how the body functions from the smallest known particle through the interactions of humans and the world around them. One more day. One more week. One more month. One more year. Life expectancy has certainly increased in the United States, but one thing is certain. Everyone will eventually check out of this life. I’ve often heard the phrase, “. . . the only things constant in life are death and taxes.” A true statement, but it still doesn’t make the transition any easier. Nobody can explain to you what it will feel like to die. Where you will be focusing your attention and thoughts when death is knocking on your door. Although, I imagine I’ll be thinking about my loved ones . . . which reminds me of another trite expression. “When you’re lying on your death bed, I doubt you’ll be wishing you spent more time at the office,” . . . or working on your hobby . . . or watching more TV. It may be trite, but I’d imagine it can’t be too far off base. I guess what I’m trying to say is . . . take a few minutes and think about your life. Stop whatever you’re doing and ask yourself, “What is really important?” Is it your status at the office? Is it how you compare to your neighbors? Is it what you do and don’t have in your possession? We’ll all be a little better off if we appreciate the things we have and express our gratitude to those who mean the most in our lives. Enjoy where you are and slow down a few notches. The world is passing by far too quickly, and the journey can be truly amazing!
Mar
13
desire for life
Filed Under emily, hannah, happiness, life, marriage, trials, weather | Leave a Comment
Today was overcast and a bit rainy. Not enough rain to do much in the way of filling our cistern, but enough to moisten the ground. I love the post rain smell – it reminds me of a song I used to sing in primary talking about being as clean as Earth right after rain. Of course, I was only able to enjoy the smell a few minutes today as I was sitting in a dark air conditioned classroom from 10:15 am to 6:00 pm. However, when I arrived home the weather was quiet, calm, and relaxing. The clouds were hanging low and there was a stillness in the air.
I just came inside from our patio. I was looking out into the calm darkness over the ocean. I was letting the dogs out to do their business and was hugging Emily while I waited. I said to her, “I want to go and wake Hannah.” This often happens when we’ve been looking at pictures of her while she is sleeping. I haven’t seen her since leaving for school this morning. She’s been such a joy. She’s kind of like Seinfeld – he ended his TV series at the pinnacle of his success. Hannah has the same kind of timing – she knows when to exit stage left (go to sleep). We are always wanting more.
This brings me to another thought I was having while talking about Hannah. Emily and I will be married 10 years this July. Time has passed very quickly. We’ve had many great times as well as our share of challenges. One of the largest challenges we’ve dealt with is the inability to have children for the first seven plus years of our marriage. Many people we’ve met through the years are surprised infertility could pose any kind of difficulty. In fact, we were sitting in a Sunday school class a while ago discussing challenges in marriages. Emily mentioned the inability to have children, and nearly every person in the room seemed shocked it could pose any difficulty in a marriage. We’ve experienced many shades of emotion through the years – anger, frustration, faith, despondency, hope, and resignation being a few. When we found out Emily was pregnant, the emotions moved in like a summer thunderstorm. (Actually, they moved in a bit before but that’s a story for another day.) We had wanted a child so much for so long – it was finally a potential reality. I think that’s one of the greatest contributors to our view of parenthood. We wanted it for so long – it had the chance to grow deep roots into our hearts. Hannah’s birth was another burst of emotion. The first time we heard her cry was truly a special moment I will never forget.
Well, post number two is in the bag. Life is good. Enjoy it while you’re here.
Mar
12
being happy
Filed Under happiness, thoughts | Leave a Comment
Welcome to the inaugural post to my blog. I’ve been reading Emily’s posts and really enjoying them. She’s inspired me to start writing. I’ve been keeping a journal off and on, but need to be more consistent. I’m hoping this helps me write a little more often.
Occasionally, Emily and I eat a meal on our patio overlooking the ocean. It is a feature of our apartment we rank #1. Emily thought about moving for a short period after arriving on Saba. Looking back she wonders what brain she was using to come up with that decision. The view has been one of the main things keeping her sanity while living on this tiny island in the middle of the ocean.
We had a friend over for dinner last night and ate on the patio. The weather was, as I describe, the reason we are currently in the “high season” in the Caribbean. The temperature was ~78 F. There was a very light breeze which made the air just perfect. After dinner, we sat around the table talking about various topics, but the main thing impacting me was the beauty of the situation. I love living in the Caribbean with my family. I can’t imagine being here and experiencing this without them. This experience has truly helped me understand the difference between needs and wants. We live very simple. What I need is my family with me wherever I go. I can’t fathom living without them. They are truly my strength.
There are many unhappy people on this island . . . and there are many happy people on this island. It’s really a microcosm of life anywhere else. The difference being the absence of distractions constantly blasting in your face vying for your attention. I guess what I’m trying to say is I’ve made the decision to be happy and love my situation and I don’t think I could be any happier. I wouldn’t rather be anywhere else in the world, doing anything else, with anyone else. I’ve read several books about happiness and through my own experience I’ve proven several of their ideas. Happiness is a state of mind . . . a decision. Emily, I’m sure, gets tired of hearing me say it, but I can’t see it any other way. Happiness is a decision. People decide to be all kinds of stuff. Each person decides how they are going to respond to every situation . . . they may not do so consciously, but it is still up to them. Don’t get me wrong, I experience my share of stress, frustration, and sadness, but experiencing these contrasting emotions only heightens my enjoyment of life. I love life. I love my wife. I love my daughter and am amazed daily at how much joy I’ve experienced since she’s been a part of my life.