Mar
31
i finally have an ally!
Filed Under emily, family, hannah, life, medicine, my little man, saba, thoughts | 2 Comments
There was actually a time a little over a year ago I jokingly threatened Emily to take her blog off the internet because she wasn’t using it very often. I’m totally pathetic. I’ve obviously been less than consistent with mine, but seriously . . . I’m going to do better. Just the other day, Emily flicked my little statement back in my face . . . “Do you want me to take down your blog? You don’t seem to be using it very much.” I guess I deserved that.
We visited St. Maarten this past weekend. The primary reason for our visit was to visit the doctor to get an ultrasound on Emily’s pregnant belly. Emily had been looking forward to this little “get away” for quite sometime. I could tell she was excited by the way she kept describing how cute Hannah would be swimming in the ocean on a beach that didn’t have an 80 foot, rock-dropping, cliff overshadowing your every move like the Saba beach. Granted, the sand was quite a bit softer than the sand found on Saba, but I love our little here-it-is now-it’s-not beach. I think the coastline of Saba is one of the reasons it can truthfully be called the “Unspoiled Queen” of the Caribbean. Who plans a vacation to an island that may or may not have a beach? Not many!
We visited the doctor and he asked what we thought we were having. When Emily was pregnant with Hannah, she started calling her a girl well before we found out. I told her I didn’t want our little kid to get a complex if it turned out to be a boy, so I called it a boy. I was wrong. Once again, Emily demonstrated how connected she is with our child and started calling this kid a boy well before we found out . . . and once again, I wanted to add a little balance to our relationship. I called it a girl. I was wrong. Maybe I’ll listen to her next time . . . then again . . .
As Dr. Tjon moved the ultrasound probe to the other side of Emily’s belly he said, “Let’s see which one of you is right.” It was the most clear ultrasound picture I think I have ever seen. We could have grabbed the guy that was stumbling in front of the hospital to read the ultrasound . . . it was unmistakable!
Just like with Hannah, I’m excited to meet this kid, and just like Emily, I don’t think I know what to do with a little boy. You see, I’ve been swimming in a sea of estrogen my entire life. Let me explain. In my family growing up, there were two boys, three girls, then me at the end. My closest brother was 12 years older than me, so you can see there was a lot of estrogen surrounding me. Then, I got married and there was balance between the hormones. The balance was short lived as we added a dog to our family . . . a female dog. A short while later we added another female dog. I was losing this battle, and quickly. We then moved to Texas to open a wedding gown store. Um, can anyone say estrogen? Loads and loads of estrogen!!! If that wasn’t enough, Emily’s sister moved in with us. Then, her friend also moved in. Let’s pause and recap. On Team Testosterone . . . me. On Team Estrogen . . . Emily, Kyaha the dog, Paris the dog, Charmain the sister-in-law, Stephanie the sister-in-law’s friend, and ALL THOSE BRIDES (oh, and their mothers, grandmothers, bridesmaids, and other girlfriends). Yeah, I was truly losing the battle. Well, Stephanie moved out, then Charmain, then we got out of our wedding gown shop. The tide was starting to shift in my favor. Of course, that couldn’t last too long. After nine years of marriage we finally got a bun in the oven . . . it turned out to be a girl! I was certainly not disappointed in the least. Hannah has been and is the greatest blessing in my life next to my sweet, darling, sassy wife. I’m amazed at how much she has added to my life. However, in terms of my lifelong battle to even out the hormones in my life, it was just another nail in the coffin.
By the way, if you’ve ever wondered what specialty I’m going to pursue in medicine . . . it will NOT (can I make that any bigger?) be OB/GYN!
I finally have some help on the way to balance the hormones in the Lesher house!
Mar
8
the inside of my head
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There’s only been one time in my life I’ve been consistent at keeping a journal. Right now, that doesn’t seem like a big deal, but the other day Emily was explaining to me how she envisions her blog in the future. A record for our kids to read about the early part of their life. It will also provide a window into our lives for them to see us as something other than parents.
This conversation really got me thinking about the direction of my own blog. Although I’m currently just writing to the empty space of the internet, I’d like for it to hold some actual value and purpose . . . something other than taking up space in the nebulous world of cyberspace. That purpose, as I see it (and inspired by Emily) is a record for my children. My life as I see it.
I remember reading a few journal entries my mom wrote around the time I was born. It was really fun to peek into her mind at a time she didn’t know me. It really meant a lot to me. So, hopefully someday in the distant future, Hannah and her siblings (number to be determined) will be reading these posts and will be able to appreciate who I am as seen from a different perspective – one that’s a little closer to the inside of my head.
Nov
10
saba sunrise
Filed Under emily, hannah, happiness, life | 2 Comments
I’ve always been excited to see the sun rise. Now, that doesn’t mean I’ve seen a whole bunch of them. It takes a lot to get me out of bed in the morning. I’d rather sleep until my body says, “GET OUT OF BED!” Hannah has, fortunately, changed that. It still takes a lot to get me out of bed, but she’s something else. One of the nice side benefits of having her get up anywhere between 5:30 am and 6:30 am is that I get to witness the beginning of another incredible day on this beautiful Earth. Emily recently posted some photos of a sunrise, so here’s my shot at it. I think I took around 280 pictures of the sunrise this morning. It was a spectacular experience watching the sun peak over the horizon. The colors changed constantly and the warmth of the sun gradually fell on my face as it slowly climbed out of the ocean.
What a beautiful day to be alive!
Nov
9
she’s back!
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Emily’s been making fun of me that I haven’t posted anything for a while. True, I used to bug her about letting so much time go by between posts, but I really do have a good excuse . . . I’m in medical school. Tonight, though, I’m going to carve out a few minutes to let everyone know how happy I am to have changed my status. I’m no longer “desamparado”. My wife has returned and I’m no longer the most miserable bachelor in the whole wide world.
Since Emily’s been back, a lot of things have changed:
- I’m eating, er . . . healthy
- I’m focusing better in school
- I’m able to sleep at night
- I’m experiencing the progress Hannah is making in her development
- Seriously, there are too many other things to list . . .
Life really is better now that my dear, sweet, loving wife has returned to this little paradise we like to call home.
Sep
26
It’s been a while since I’ve written anything on my blog . . . as you can see. Last semester was quite a rough ride. All I can say is that I’m still floating. Although Pathology has been one of my most difficult courses yet, I really enjoy the class. In the midst of a semester it’s difficult to appreciate the information I’m trying to internalize, but after the stress and pressure of exams has subsided . . . it’s an amazing view in retrospect. Again, I marvel at the amazing way the body deals with injury.
So now, I’ve been abandoned . . . or as my father-in-law says, “desamparado”. Emily and Hannah left Monday of last week for a month visit to the States. They first flew to Southern California to spend some time with Emily’s sister. Then, on Sunday, they flew to Utah to spend a few weeks with the rest of her family and mine. She’ll round out her trip in Texas for a few days with our dear friends. This will mark the longest we’ve ever been apart.
When Emily and I got married, I was in school to become an airline pilot. I was going to be the one traveling around the country and possibly the world, but as it turns out Emily has been the world traveler. She stared out going to Las Vegas and Phoenix, then it progressed to Columbus. Ultimately she visited Taiwan and Hong Kong. When the decision was made to come to medical school . . . it was only natural that we travel to get here. I’m sure you can see a bit of irony in our marriage. In ten years of marriage, Emily has been the one being left only once. We had a funny conversation before she left comparing the one doing the leaving verses the one being left. The one doing the leaving doesn’t quite miss the other in the same way. She agreed with me. I’ve made it through a little over a week . . . just a few more to go.
Jun
11
misc hello
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Another beautiful day in the Caribbean! Over the past several weeks, I’ve been saying that to myself at least once a day while looking out over the ocean from our patio. The weather has become a bit warmer during the day, but it usually cools down as the sun ducks behind Mt. Scenery. The clouds are starting to produce a bit of lightning and thunder. The sky, ocean, and view are just breathtaking! I still find it hard to believe I live in the Caribbean. I’ve certainly become accustomed to this simple, slow-paced lifestyle in one of the most beautiful places on Earth. It will be hard to leave.
This semester has certainly taken its toll on me so far . . . and I’m only five weeks into it. I’m completely overwhelmed by two of my classes . . . Pathology and Pharmacology. The good thing is that Emily has dedicated herself to helping me learn the endless list of drugs, their applications, side effects, and all the other minutia required by the curriculum. I’ve really enjoyed having her help me study. It reminds me of when we worked at our wedding gown store together. I love spending time with my wife! Anyway, it’s really been helping me remember the drugs as I have someone to which I can explain the mechanisms etc. Studying with her has also freed up a bit of my time as my studying has become more efficient.
Hannah is growing faster than ever! She’s about 10.5 months old. She’s got two teeth visible on the bottom, and two on the top that have recently broken the surface. They’re not quite visible without close inspection. She’s not yet walking . . . but she’s getting close. She pulls herself up on anything she crawls up to . . . the couch, chairs, the wall, and even our sliding glass door. (That’s one of my favorites!) When she pulls herself up to the chairs around the table, she likes to yank on them and move them around. She doesn’t move them very far, but she gets the most triumphant look on her face . . . kinda like, “Look Dad, I’ve just moved the house!” She’s added so much joy and depth to our lives. I can’t imagine not having her in our family.
Well, that’s about all the free time I have today. From the Caribbean . . . smile!
Apr
10
mobile baby
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Well, we’re ten days into April and this is the first time I’ve decided to sit down to write. Hannah decided to stop being stationary and joined the ranks of the mobile by crawling. She started Saturday by taking about three “steps” for lack of a better word. I was outside and Emily came to the door and screamed, “David! You better get in here . . . your daughter is crawling!” Since then, she has decided to explore the house. I was just telling Emily the other day that I don’t feel my life has changed that much since we had Hannah . . . I know Emily’s life has changed more than mine, but my life is not all that different from before Hannah was born. Of course, my heart has expanded beyond anything I could ever imagine. Having Hannah come into our life is indescribable. Anyway, as I was saying about my life not changing that much . . . we’re having to be much more vigilant about stuff at her level. Cords are getting tucked away, our little tables we use for our computers can’t be left out without our supervision, etc. So . . . admittedly, my life is changing. I accept it happily! Well, this semester is almost over and I’m looking forward to the break. Our Saba time is slowly but surely drawing to a close . . . I’m not looking forward to it.
Mar
13
desire for life
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Today was overcast and a bit rainy. Not enough rain to do much in the way of filling our cistern, but enough to moisten the ground. I love the post rain smell – it reminds me of a song I used to sing in primary talking about being as clean as Earth right after rain. Of course, I was only able to enjoy the smell a few minutes today as I was sitting in a dark air conditioned classroom from 10:15 am to 6:00 pm. However, when I arrived home the weather was quiet, calm, and relaxing. The clouds were hanging low and there was a stillness in the air.
I just came inside from our patio. I was looking out into the calm darkness over the ocean. I was letting the dogs out to do their business and was hugging Emily while I waited. I said to her, “I want to go and wake Hannah.” This often happens when we’ve been looking at pictures of her while she is sleeping. I haven’t seen her since leaving for school this morning. She’s been such a joy. She’s kind of like Seinfeld – he ended his TV series at the pinnacle of his success. Hannah has the same kind of timing – she knows when to exit stage left (go to sleep). We are always wanting more.
This brings me to another thought I was having while talking about Hannah. Emily and I will be married 10 years this July. Time has passed very quickly. We’ve had many great times as well as our share of challenges. One of the largest challenges we’ve dealt with is the inability to have children for the first seven plus years of our marriage. Many people we’ve met through the years are surprised infertility could pose any kind of difficulty. In fact, we were sitting in a Sunday school class a while ago discussing challenges in marriages. Emily mentioned the inability to have children, and nearly every person in the room seemed shocked it could pose any difficulty in a marriage. We’ve experienced many shades of emotion through the years – anger, frustration, faith, despondency, hope, and resignation being a few. When we found out Emily was pregnant, the emotions moved in like a summer thunderstorm. (Actually, they moved in a bit before but that’s a story for another day.) We had wanted a child so much for so long – it was finally a potential reality. I think that’s one of the greatest contributors to our view of parenthood. We wanted it for so long – it had the chance to grow deep roots into our hearts. Hannah’s birth was another burst of emotion. The first time we heard her cry was truly a special moment I will never forget.
Well, post number two is in the bag. Life is good. Enjoy it while you’re here.