Apr

19

another chapter comes to a close

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When I arrived on this island I had a hard time believing I was going to live in the Caribbean for nearly two years. Now my time is up, I’m having a hard time picturing my life in a place other than Saba. This island has truly taught me many life lessons. My experiences have been wide and I’ve met so many wonderful people. This experience has truly enriched my life.

I’ve wanted to write something about how I’m feeling as I close this chapter in my life, but as I sit and think about how to put into words the experience I’ve had, it’s hard to formulate just what to say.  Life in the Caribbean has certainly been interesting, and I can’t believe I’m ready to leave.  I already miss the way of life to which I’ve become so accustomed.  The one thing that is helping me feel excited to leave is that we have been car-less until today.  Our friends have gone to St. Maarten for a week and were very kind to let us borrow their car until we leave (they secretly saved our love of the island).  I think if we had been car-less for our last 10 days on the island . . . we would have left with a sour taste.  The same could probably be said about anywhere we felt confined.  However, I still can’t believe I’m actually saying, I’m bored.  I still love the view.  I still love the pace of life, but it is certainly true that a person should be anxiously engaged in a good cause.  Purpose is a good thing.  It helps get a person out of bed in the morning and gets them through the day.  I guess I have just felt like we’re flying in a holding pattern.

I’m determined to do better with my remaining four days on Saba.  I haven’t regretted any time I’ve spent on this island . . . what a shame it would be to regret the end.

Jun

19

healthy body

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Wow! What a day. I had another round of exams today. It wasn’t pretty, but I’m getting through. I’m currently taking Pathology, Pharmacology, and Physical Diagnosis. Pathology and Pharmacology are both very difficult classes due to the shear volume of material I’m expected to internalize within a three week period of time, (the length of our blocks). Physical Diagnosis is a bit easier for me as it’s a little more hands on. It adds another mode of learning for me that I feel comes a bit easier than gleaning all my knowledge from a book. The classes have been very interesting. I’ve learned a lot, but have struggled at times with the tremendous amount of tiny details, (but I guess that’s why I grow in knowledge). The big picture has become more and more clear as my time in basic sciences has progressed. The human body is truly an amazing thing. I marvel at the way it is able to, when functioning normally, maintain our temperature, pH, and all the other inter-environmental factors in line as we go throughout our daily lives . . . not giving two thoughts to our breathing . . . or our heart beating, etc. Truly spectacular! It really makes me grateful to be healthy.

Apr

25

a life worth duplicating

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I’ve been on break since Wednesday of last week. It’s been a nice reprieve from the rigors of school. Although, I have to admit, this last semester was not as difficult as it could have been. Having split my second semester on the island when Hannah was born, this semester was a perfect load for having a family. I was able to spend some quality time with Emily and Hannah. I’ll look back on this past semester with fondness.

Yesterday, I was lounging around the house and noticed a movie was just starting. Intrigued, I watched it for a few minutes. It looked like it was set in the early 1970′s. I looked it up on TVGuide.com (yes, Emily, TVGuide.com) to see what it was. It turns out it was a movie about a guy named Steve Prefontaine named Without Limits. I wasn’t able to watch every second of the movie, but it was one of the most inspiring stories I’ve ever seen. This genre of movies, unbelievable sports stories, is full of miraculous people or teams overcoming great odds to be the best in their respective fields. The application of this man’s desire and drive reach all areas of life. He was truly an extraordinary man. In reading more about him, I came across several quotes that were very inspiring:

To give anything less than your best, is to sacrifice the gift.

A lot of people run a race to see who is fastest. I run to see who has the most guts, who can punish himself into exhausting pace, and then at the end, punish himself even more.

A race is a work of art that people can look at and be affected in as many ways as they’re capable of understanding.

I’m going to work so that it’s a pure guts race at the end, and if it is, I am the only one who can win it.

Someone may beat me, but they are going to have to bleed to do it.

The only good race pace is suicide pace, and today looks like a good day to die.

I think this man ended his life with few regrets. He obviously left the world wanting more. A life like this can only give hope and inspiration to those who know the story. He has certainly inspired me . . . and he died two months before I was born.

Apr

15

pride

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In keeping with my spiritual theme for writing on Sunday . . . I had the opportunity today to speak in our Sacrament service. I say “opportunity” because it truly was. Public speaking is the number one fear of people in general. Growing up in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (LDS) I’ve had the opportunity to speak in front of audiences of varying sizes since I was four years old. Through no doing of my own, the fear of speaking in front of an audience isn’t something I have to deal with. Therefore, I was able to concentrate more fully on the topic for which I was preparing. How grateful I am. A couple weeks ago, while I was listening to General Conference, I had a thought enter my mind as to the topic I should address. In short . . . it was pride. My main resource for the talk I gave was a talk given by President Ezra Taft Benson in 1989 titled Beware of Pride. Another talk I used as source material for my talk was given in 1992 by Elder Dallin H. Oaks titled Our Strengths Can Become Our Downfall.

While reading these talks and the scriptures, I was humbled. There are so many things I need to eliminate from my life. When preparing a talk or lesson, I always feel an unfair advantage. I always get more out of the preparation than anyone in the audience will ever gain from my presentation of the topic. Pride has truly become a device of destruction in our world. Lives, marriages, communities, and nations have fallen to the destructive force of pride. I’m going to share a few of my favorite points from Beware of Pride:

Fear of men’s judgment manifests itself in competition for men’s approval. The proud love “the praise of men more than the praise of God.” Our motives for the things we do are where the sin is manifest. Jesus said He did “always those things” that pleased God. Would we not do well to have the pleasing of God as our motive rather than to try to elevate ourselves above our brother and outdo another?

This is so evident in the world around us. Co-workers going to any length in order to “look good” to their superiors. Honesty, sincerity, and integrity are replaced by a cutthroat desire to climb the ladder at any cost. Worrying about what the crowd will think if a decision made is “against the grain” leads to a loss of what truly makes us great!

Another point I loved from Beware of Pride was:

Another face of pride is contention. Arguments, fights, unrighteous dominion, generation gaps, divorces, spouse abuse, riots, and disturbances all fall into this category of pride.

Contention in our families drives the Spirit of the Lord away. It also drives many of our family members away. Contention ranges from a hostile spoken word to worldwide conflicts. The scriptures tell us that “only by pride cometh contention.” (Prov. 13:10; see also Prov. 28:25.)

This pretty much sums it up. There’s not much more I can add to that. In preparing my talk, I’ve become more resolved to eliminate the awful faces of pride from my life. I’ve experienced times in my life where I don’t think pride was prevalent and I’ve experienced times in my life where pride ruled . . . I prefer the former. We live in an incredible world . . . beautiful beyond description . . . how much greater could it be . . . without pride?

I’m going to close this entry with a scripture from the Book of Mormon. It is found in Alma 7:23:

. . . now I would that ye should be humble, and be submissive and gentle; easy to be entreated; full of patience and long-suffering; being temperate in all things; being diligent in keeping the commandments of God at all times; asking for whatsoever things ye stand in need, both spiritual and temporal; always returning thanks unto God for whatsoever things ye do receive.

What more can I say?

Mar

13

desire for life

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Today was overcast and a bit rainy. Not enough rain to do much in the way of filling our cistern, but enough to moisten the ground. I love the post rain smell – it reminds me of a song I used to sing in primary talking about being as clean as Earth right after rain. Of course, I was only able to enjoy the smell a few minutes today as I was sitting in a dark air conditioned classroom from 10:15 am to 6:00 pm. However, when I arrived home the weather was quiet, calm, and relaxing. The clouds were hanging low and there was a stillness in the air.

I just came inside from our patio. I was looking out into the calm darkness over the ocean. I was letting the dogs out to do their business and was hugging Emily while I waited. I said to her, “I want to go and wake Hannah.” This often happens when we’ve been looking at pictures of her while she is sleeping. I haven’t seen her since leaving for school this morning. She’s been such a joy. She’s kind of like Seinfeld – he ended his TV series at the pinnacle of his success. Hannah has the same kind of timing – she knows when to exit stage left (go to sleep). We are always wanting more.

This brings me to another thought I was having while talking about Hannah. Emily and I will be married 10 years this July. Time has passed very quickly. We’ve had many great times as well as our share of challenges. One of the largest challenges we’ve dealt with is the inability to have children for the first seven plus years of our marriage. Many people we’ve met through the years are surprised infertility could pose any kind of difficulty. In fact, we were sitting in a Sunday school class a while ago discussing challenges in marriages. Emily mentioned the inability to have children, and nearly every person in the room seemed shocked it could pose any difficulty in a marriage. We’ve experienced many shades of emotion through the years – anger, frustration, faith, despondency, hope, and resignation being a few. When we found out Emily was pregnant, the emotions moved in like a summer thunderstorm. (Actually, they moved in a bit before but that’s a story for another day.) We had wanted a child so much for so long – it was finally a potential reality. I think that’s one of the greatest contributors to our view of parenthood. We wanted it for so long – it had the chance to grow deep roots into our hearts. Hannah’s birth was another burst of emotion. The first time we heard her cry was truly a special moment I will never forget.

Well, post number two is in the bag. Life is good. Enjoy it while you’re here.